How DO We Have a Great Relationship?

What I really would like to know is - just what is a "great" relationship? How does one (particularly, a middle-aged woman) go about having one? Do we have to read countless manuals and psychology reports before arriving at "that station", because it's sure not like buying ice cream!

All too often, in the midst of situations, I hear my mother's voice, wet with exasperation, waving her arms up in the air, asking an age-old question, "Why does everything always have to be so complicated?"

Well, do relationships really have to be? I believe, because people have told me so, that when two people are mutually attracted to each other on multiple levels that relationships should be simple. Maybe if  people would stop trying so hard to reach idealistic goals...like the ones that don't require any effort or forethought, their relationship values would increase.  A "happily ever after" scenario is the same as visualizing ourselves wearing skinny jeans and tight shirts and giving no thought to making the effort required to get the weight off.

So how much work or effort do we have to put out? Does it have to be hard? Maybe if we try to live one day at a time and keep life simple...maybe if we take smaller steps, we can arrive someplace that feels safe. (However, I definitely advocate reading literature about controlling our emotions and understanding ourselves). When we practice to embrace love instead of fear, we move forward.

Let's pretend great relationships could be based on...say...ten simple rules. Maybe they would read like this:

Rule #1 - Wake up, thank God you're alive, and feel grateful. (No whining).
Rule #2 - Vow to be kind to yourself that day. (No self-flagellation).
Rule #3 - Look at those near you and realize they are a child of God, just like you. (No snarling).
Rule #4 - Remember, they are like you, but they are NOT you, so respect their differences. (No criticizing).
Rule #5 - Embrace the fact that all of us aim to have a good day. (Get outside of yourself).
Rule #6 - Enable others to have that privilege by vowing to convey a positive, respectful attitude with them.  (Open your heart).
Rule #7 - Listen well, and listen more. (Be forgiving).
Rule #8 - Offer positive, honest feedback, rather than silence. Mind reading is impossible, so let your loving  heart be known. (Speak sincerely).
Rule #9 - Search for ways (and be creative) to act as a giver, as well as being a gracious receiver. (Be humble).
Rule #10 - Remember, you will always have more to learn. (Be a student).

If we were to read, much less follow, these rules every day, how could we have anything but a great relationship with our partner (if we ever find one)?